Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
