I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I need water and some morals
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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