i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
