She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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