We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
