True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
