Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
