I cannot find my penis.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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