Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
