We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
