I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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