How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
