WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
