But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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