oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize