Sober January is a disaster.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
