You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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