Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
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She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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