My nipple is on Facebook.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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