yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
