Texts From Last Night

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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears

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  (865): He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears http://tfl.nu/nyec
  Replies (29) Good night (1378) Bad night (8444)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate

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  (832): im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate http://tfl.nu/io2z
  Replies (20) Good night (1413) Bad night (3514)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.

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  (202): i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day. http://tfl.nu/yh3a
  Replies (21) Good night (10036) Bad night (985)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people

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  (401): My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people http://tfl.nu/xhvq
  Replies (28) Good night (1577) Bad night (5488)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.

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  (+44): Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips. http://tfl.nu/4kys
  Replies (1) Good night (2371) Bad night (873)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat

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  (978): Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat http://tfl.nu/fgz1
  Replies (17) Good night (4471) Bad night (1230)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again

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  (704): Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again http://tfl.nu/mnjw
  Replies (5) Good night (1354) Bad night (599)
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  (714): View more from California

  When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong

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  (714): When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong http://tfl.nu/jidy
  Replies (5) Good night (563) Bad night (1531)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  Probably

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  (715): Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment? (1-715): Probably http://tfl.nu/g5lc
  Replies (2) Good night (1463) Bad night (618)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.

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  (703): BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES. http://tfl.nu/8c1x
  Replies (3) Good night (504) Bad night (1260)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.

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  (515): Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away. http://tfl.nu/jux9
  Replies (2) Good night (1236) Bad night (505)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week

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  (303): The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week http://tfl.nu/55dt
  Replies (2) Good night (378) Bad night (633)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.

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  (412): How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home? (480): I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk. http://tfl.nu/69on
  Replies (2) Good night (752) Bad night (336)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist

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  (229): I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist http://tfl.nu/lub5
  Replies (0) Good night (579) Bad night (276)
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  (619): View more from California

  I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.

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  (619): I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday. http://tfl.nu/3yb4
  Replies (3) Good night (393) Bad night (267)

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