there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
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I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit