Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.