New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.