she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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