Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
