the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
