i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
