I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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