Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
