i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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