Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
