He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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