hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
