I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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