Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
