I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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