i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
