I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
