Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
