then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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