I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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