david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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