I got chris browned last night
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
