The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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