im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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