if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Sorry about my life...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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