I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
