Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
