do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
