his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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