Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
