Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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