well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
