i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
