and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize