Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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