My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
