i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
