I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Small penises have feelings too.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
