I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
