You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
