threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
