I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
