I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
